Monday, September 24, 2007

The Next African Famine

A couple of years ago there was a plague of Locusts in sub-Saharan Africa. These are subsistence farmers who live from one crop to the next, and so what this meant is that a predictable famine was coming in about eight months. The Aid agencies, those humanitarian outfits, spent those eight months begging for some scraps to be tossed from the master’s table, and they got nothing. As the months dragged by and they didn’t get a nickel, I watched as the inevitable famine affecting millions played itself out, and then, once those people were finally dead and the herd was culled and thinned out, I watched as things got back to normal on this planet.

Yes, things were back to normal. The right to life movement lost no time in defending the embryonic stem cell, that precious gift of human life. Sermons were once again preached and the salvation was once again offered to the world from pulpits. Moral values were once again the big social issue. Life went on.

Now at the same time as the famine went unfounded, the Niger military received half a billion dollars in funding, for when you a famine you run the risk of having enraged mobs on the loose, and therefore you require guns and law and order. It turns out that you can get a half a billion for the military, and you can get half a trillion for the military for a big war like the Iraq war, but you must beg for nickels and dimes from the master’s table for the cause of the ‘right to life’. For some reason this is not an issue for our great humanitarians in the ‘right to life’ movement, since it is becoming clearer and clearer as time goes by that the religious right is not a humanitarian outfit, but rather Elmer Gantry is just some cheap hustler attempting to keep the cork in the genies bottle.

Now as I sit here and await the next famine, and a repeat of this filthy charade, I can’t help but think about how the reputation of YAHWEH, my God, is about to once again be dragged through the muck and the filth by the religious people of this planet. For you see, when six million Jews get barbequed, or ruthless oppressors crush famine victims on this planet, it smears and destroys the reputation of God to have God just sitting back and letting it all happen.

Now it is once again time to learn about how valuable and extremely precious is our religion, that gift of God. Yes, it is once again time to sit back, and watch the glorious display of the glorification of the Holy Name of God. For once again it is time for our precious religion to convince everyone that there is no God, for if there was a God how could something so horrible have happened? As we know so very, very well, our religion has no God, and that has been proven abundantly time and time again, and is about to proved once again, redundantly, for how many fucking fucking times is it required that we prove the same fucking point over and over and over again. Well this is religion, and so dogmatic and ignorant thing that it is, it is required that we prove that point forever and ever until the end of fucking time, or at least until there isn’t one single fucking trace of fucking religion left on this sorry suffering miserable planet, whichever comes first. Given how all this constant evil and wickedness is destroying religion I can happily report that we will not have to wait until the end of time, but given how evil religion really is we might find ourselves waiting half a century, since according to the statistics that would be about how long it will take to finally get rid of the last traces of our collapsing and disappearing religions.

Now, as I have explained to people in the past, it is my secret plan to ‘prepare a path through the wilderness for YAHWEH, my God,’ and thus allow YAHWEH to vent the full force of the fury of the wrath of YAHWEH on this planet. People say to me, ‘where is your God?’ and I imagine as I am once again forced to sit out another one of those famines and the horrors of oppression and all the nakedly exposed and unchallenged evil inhumanity and gross immorality that is exposed along with it, that I will once again have to endure listening to dumb ignorant shits asking me to explain where my supposedly just God was during that latest outrage.

Unfortunately I am a little tied up at the moment, and so is YAHWEH, my God, for religion still remains as an obstacle in our path, and since we cannot risk giving any trace of legitimacy to that long neglected divorced whore, nor can we allow here to do some more whoring by claiming that her idol just had a ‘second coming’, I would suppose that means that I still have some brush to clear to finish clearing that path through the parched desert wilderness on this planet. For you see long, long ago when that idiotic religion became the fig leaf peddling snake in YAHWEH’s lovely naked Garden, the clouds above were commanded to never again rain on this planet, and YAHWEH left the entire planet to covered with those thorns and briars you see everywhere while at the same time YAHWEH knocked down the wall protecting that Garden so that it could be invaded by the marauders who you see trampling and destroying the place all the time.

There are those who will complain that the punishment was to severe, and they might even have a pity party while condemning God, the ruthless bastard, as is commonly done on this planet. But then it is religion we are seeking to destroy and that would take thousands of years and multiple horrors and rampaging unchecked out of control wickedness and ruthless oppression and shocking acts of cruelty and vicious bullying and one destructive horror following another until finally the whole planet becomes full of atheists, thus, finally at long last, ridding this planet of that worthless good for nothing fig leaf peddling snake.

So then arise, oh right to life movement. Arise oh keepers of the chaste vagina. Arise once again and shine once again, oh righteous and holy ones and fill the world with the light of your precious dogmas. Better yet, cry out for your idol, oh chaste virgin bride, or then again, don’t bother. Forget about it, for after all it is very unlikely that after so many thousands of years of brutal rejection that some last minute prayer will ever do you any fucking good whatsoever, so I say, carry on as before, and give us yet one more of your wonderful do it yourself jobs. Don’t be to ambitious, for why embarrass yourselves, but chose something small, something doable. Patch up the marriage of Tom and Marge. Claim yet one more victorious triumph, oh holy servants of some alleged god.. You might as well, for there is sweet fuck all waiting for you from the hand of any so called god.