Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hormones, Adolescent Lust, and Church Canon Law

In my main blog I introduced everyone to Little Naked Adam, the Boy Wonder, who ascended to the Mountain Of Eden in Paradise and prayed open those padlocked and sealed Pearly Gates. For as Little Adam knew even before he ascended the Mountain of God, our God was YAHWEH, the God of the Garden of Eden, and it was the Fig Leaf Peddling Snake, the Church, which was responsible for the Iron Bars and the Padlock which we have seen barring the entrance to Paradise for Long Ages of Time. Yes, the Age of the Church was the Age of what Catholics refer to as The Long Dark Night of the Soul, the Long Age of the Silence of God. No, there would be no God for those people for one hell of hell of long, long time. Thus we find that the crucial philosophical question confronting humanity for Long Long Ages of Time was the irresolvable and unanswerable question, ‘Does God exist?’ The ruthless merciless pitiless conduct of God, who let us be frank, after allowing the roasting of six million Jews, and sundry assorted other atrocities throughout the Age of the Church, tells us that God is no loving parent, and this conflict between Proclaimed Doctrine and Observed Reality is what Popes and sundry Theologians throughout history have referred to as ‘the Divine Mystery’.

The solution to this ‘Divine Mystery’ takes two possible forms. The first is the solution preferred by scientists and other atheists, in that it conforms to actual observed reality and the available empirical evidence, which is to say that ‘There is no God.’ The longer that people continue to attend Mass and other churchy type functions the more credible this solution becomes to more and more people, and when you toss in that bit about six million barbequed Jews, you can well understand why the Catholic Church now is found in a state of ruin in Europe, as well as every other type of church, as the trend in any ‘Christian Civilization’, given enough time, is toward the justification of secular atheism for very obvious reasons.

In this weeks homily the Pope saw fit to address the issue of Naked Little Adam with No Fig Leaf (the Prayer Warrior, the Boy Wonder). “Humanity must strive to first accurately know "true doctrine" and then translate it into one's own life by following moral principles and virtues, the pope said (and) provide children early on with the "spiritual weapons" they would need to protect themselves later during adolescence and the teen years from "the violent winds" of lust and other strong desires….Aided by the virtue of temperance and a solid Christian formation…Everything in life will unfold "with joy and (parents) can teach their children the virtues," the pope said…a married couple, together with their children, form a "domestic Church" in which young people are educated in faith and virtue.”

Here we have another one of those interesting Catholic contradictions and no doubt another example of one of those impenetrable ‘Divine Mysteries of God.’ Yes, children must be urgently taught the virtues of Church Canon Law, so that they might come to reverence the Most Sacred and Holy Fig Leaf before the Natural Law of God kicks in at puberty, and with a rush of hormones urgently propelling towards the strong winds of lust our children should fall into the egregious sin of having orgasms with each other, or, just as horrible, having orgasms with Rosy Palm. For God has created the world full of such dangerous and destructive temptations, and this is the Very Mysterious Christian God, and so therefore a temptation must be very, very tempting, or it would not be a temptation. It just logically follows. A temptation must be tempting so that there will be a great spiritually uplifting struggle to resist that most tempting of temptations. Let us make note of the plain and clear evidence which tells us that God does nothing to assist church doctrine and rather, being a mysterious fellow indeed, God works against doctrine time and time again, thus making urgent preaching so very necessary and is why parents must begin brainwashing their children very early on in life knowing, as parents and priests know so very well, that an outbreak of pubic hair is coming in just a few years, bringing with it the eternal damnations of the tempting temptations of the very mysterious Christian God.

From this Divine Mystery of the Christian God we can learn that the Christian God is infamously worthless and no damned good for anything other than creating problems for pious Christian parents, and for Popes and for Priests who must continually exhaust themselves trying to undo the terrible damage done by God. Apparently fixing up the fuck ups of God is the assigned task of a Pope and a Preacher, this becoming apparent when you consider the many long long centuries they have spent working at that thankless task. You would think that perhaps once in a while they might receive a helping hand from above, but the task has been thankless, and that’s gratitude for you.