Friday, December 14, 2007

Suck a Lemon

You know, over the years, I have watched as some tragic peasant was starved out or otherwise ruthlessly oppressed by Fu Manchu, while all the good hearted types of the world were left to harden their hearts and adopt that tough son of a bitch attitude, or be left with ashes in their mouths and deep mourning as their portion. As I watched all this, over the years, it seemed to me that God was a ruthless son of a bitch, perhaps something like Frankenstein, or like Godzilla, trampling down buses and pushing down skyscrapers and crushing Tokyo beneath those giant clawed feet.

Yes I thought that I was splitting a suite with Frankenstein, which came as quite a shock to me, for I had come out of a post-Christian culture and was therefore stupidly addled in my head and was trained to think of God as being like Santa, or perhaps a real nice parental type figure like my mom, and here it turned out that YAHWEH, the God of ancient Israel really was God, and that God was some kind of ferocious monster of some sort.

Well the years went by, and I began to realize that the plan of God was that these people would be left to their own evil devices, and therefore our ancestors could suck a lemon, a real sour lemon, a very, very sour lemon. "Oh, give us a King," they said, and so in anger YAHWEH handed them over to their King and left them to worship upon their High Places.

I also saw that our ancestors were a stupid, brainless people. Even a dog, when it is trained for a month or two, learns something from the experience, but our ancestors never learned a damn thing. A more stupid or stubborn creature would be hard to imagine.

One of the big problems that our ancestors had is that they wanted to have their cake and eat it, too. Now as you might have heard it said, you should be careful what you prayer for, because you might get it. So then, if our ancestors would cry out, 'oh give us a King', well, then because YAHWEH is God, that means they will get a King, even if that turned out to be a very bad idea. It turns out that they wanted a religion as well, and they could have that religion, because it was what they wanted at the time, and so they could eat that cake of theirs, because they had baked that cake so they could eat it and so they did. However they also wanted to have a cake, and because YAHWEH is God, it turns out that either you can have a cake or you can eat a cake, but not both at the same time. So therefore they had their King and they build up their High Places and offering their sacrifices there, when that King wasn't going on a rampage and chopping them to pieces with some sword in one of those maniacal conquests, and they also found the time to have a little religion, but they what they did not have was YAHWEH, but that didn't matter because they had already decided that God was the God of the dead and lived up in a place called 'Heaven' and so therefore the fact that they had no God was perfectly normalized for those idiots and was formalized as well becoming doctrines which then became dogmatic dogmas. God was up in heaven and all was right with their world, except for those times when it wasn't right, in which they would complain ('oh, if there was a God how could it happen?')

Now as it turned out, you can have a God up in heaven or you can have a God down here, and given how our ancestors, as we can tell from their dogmatism, selected a God up in heaven because they obviously did not want a God down here. It could also be true that after enough time went by spent with that good for nothing promise breaking do nothing god of theirs up in heaven they drew the conclusion that there was no god at all up in heaven, or, at the very least, the whole thing was debatable, and this would then encourage them to forget about having a god down here, since that you see is just utterly impossible. They would keep that god up in heaven and just roll the dice, and thus they adjusted their idiotic dogmatism accordingly so that guessing whether or not there was a god up in heaven then became the dogmatic plan of salvation, even though such a sadistic plot could only have originated in the mind of some miserable and ungenerous son of a bitch and not a very nice parental God who is just like your mom or your granny.

Yes, our ancestors were left to suck a lemon, and for that reason I have no tolerance at all for some modern day version of a similar type moron who extols our glorious traditions, as though we actually had a glorious tradition, which would seem to not be the case as you can tell by examining the ruinous mess of suffering and desperate poverty and oppression that we inherited from that collection of ruinous morons, our recklessly stupid and atrociously rebellious ancestors.

One of the great advantages of leaving our ancestors to suck that lemon for one hell of a hell of a long long time is that at the end of it all it is possible to take stock and do a thorough evaluation of just how wonderful those great fucking ideas really were, and as we can tell by the ruinous mess we must now work on repairing, those really were some atrociously fucked up ideas, which makes one wonder why our ancestors were brainless enough to quarrel with YAHWEH in the first place. It also makes one wonder why some modern version of a similar moron would waste any molecules of air by forcing those molecules through a larynx so as to make some pointless and futile argument in defense of the indefensible by attempting to defend our ancestors and their contradictory and fucked up traditions.